Healing & Celebrating Women’s Sexuality
Velina Lujan, MA, CMT

There is so much to celebrate about being a women, one aspect being our capacity for blissful, prolonged, ecstatic, sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, too many women do not know this pleasure and worse, associate sex with great pain and suffering, both emotionally and/or physically. In this puritanical culture where most of us were not raised to embrace our sexuality, we grew up with beliefs and attitudes about sex that hardly support our inner Goddess. This can result in feelings of shame, fear and apathy. Most sexual dysfunctions are due to emotional responses to sex, rather than a medical issue. However, there are very legitimate physiological reasons for sexual dysfunctions as well.
Most common issues women face relating to their sexuality is loss of libido, pain during intercourse, difficulty reaching orgasm, chronic yeast and bladder infections. Something that is often unknown is that the birth control pill can drastically lower libido, as well as cause weight gain and mood changes. The pill tells your body you are pregnant. This is another commonly misunderstood area for both men and women…pregnant and lactating women have a much lower sex drive due to the complex hormonal changes. This is purely biological despite the few women who do not lose their libido, it is more common than not. When couples know this, they can plan to stay connected sexually in a loving supportive manner that meets both needs. If the pill or other hormone based birth control methods are causing reduced sex drive, there are many other options for preventing pregnancy. One very good way for women to begin reclaiming their sexuality is by learning how to track fertility. Whether you are preventing pregnancy or trying to conceive, this is a beautiful way to know yourself better and appreciate the wonderousness of being a woman. As we age, every stage of our womanhood has it’s blessings. And with the more modern progressive medicine available to us now, woman can balance their hormones much more easily and naturally, making the life transitions more comfortable.
The emotional and psychological aspects of sexual dysfunction can be much more difficult to treat but not impossible. Having a trusted friend or professional to talk to about sex is very helpful. In my practice, I find that when a client feels safe and free to just talk about sex and ask questions that they would otherwise not feel comfortable to ask, they start to feel better. So often it is a lack of knowledge about what is “normal” sexually. There are so many taboos in our culture around what is healthy sex and what is perverse. My clients are often surprised to find that their fantasies, insecurities, self-doubts, fetishes, fears, pains, are far more common than they ever imagined. Just finding out that they are normal is a huge step toward a more fulfilling sex life. Having an outlet for the shame and fear is crucial for healing the pain that robs them of their Goddess given right to have sexual ecstasy. So, for a start, Let’s Talk About Sex!
Velina offers Stress Evaluations and treatment for life stressors. She specializes in Aging, Human Sexuality, Relationships, and Chronic Health Challenges.